So why "Collaborative Conversations" ?

It's a question I often get asked. Why did I choose that for my business name? When I first thought of the name, I ran it past a few friends. "Don't use it Gary", they said. "It's too long and no-one will remember it." I decided to press on regardless. Guess what? It's too long and no-one ever remembers it! I get letters addressed to "Gary Edwards - Cooperative Conversions". It makes me sound like I install LP gas cylinders in cars! So why did I use it? Two reasons:

• One - because it's all about the conversations we have. It doesn't matter what industry we are in, it doesn't matter what our job title is - we all spend at least 70% of our time communicating. We are all professional commmunicators before we are anything else! It's all about the conversations we have with our colleagues, our customers, our family and our friends.
• Two - I had a choice. I could have called it "Competitive Conversations - how to argue and win every time." And for a while I thought of that - I'm a lawyer, I know how to argue and win, I could teach that to other people. But the problem with competitive conversations is that they soon become confrontational conversations, or combative conversations - there's a winner and a loser, and while that might work in a courtroom it doesn't work in the workplace or the home. So how about "Compromising Conversations - how to give a bit, get a bit and everyone goes home feeling vaguely dissatisfied"? Isn't compromising meant to be a good thing? Well, yes, but..I'm sure we've all been in situation where we feel as though we are the only ones doing the compromising! And sometimes it seems we have compromised our principles or our values. OK, so how about "Capitulating Conversations - how to give in, give up and go home with your tail between your legs"? Hmm, maybe not..I have a feeling that most of us already know exactly how to do that, and possibly do it too often for our own liking! So finally - Cooperative Conversations. How's that? SURELY there can't be anything wrong with cooperating - can there? Well, cooperation is great - when it happens. But it does tend to imply that everyone loves each other and there is a lot of goodwill around to BE cooperative - which is often not the case, especially in the workplace. And if you've ever had anyone say to you "I want your cooperation on this.." you'll know how cooperation can soon look like capitulation.

So finally - Collaborative Conversations! All of these other types of conversations have a good and a bad side. And we need to be able to do all of them - but when WE want to, not just because someone else is putting us under pressure. So collaboration means being as cooperative as we can be in a competitive environment. We are all competing for something - time, money, resources, work priorities - and collaboration is about being as cooperative as we can in that situation, without capitulating, without becoming confrontational, without compromising too much, and without expecting everyone's total cooperation. Being able to maximise the result for everyone whilst still maintaining the relationship for the future.

So that's my goal. And my first blog post!

Your comments are always welcome!